How to overcome procastination re: your money
I start with a story about Leah. I worked with Leah about 15 years ago, and Leah drove me nuts. She drove me nuts because every.freaking.time I’d say, “I have to do XYZ” Leah would cheerfully interrupt, “no, you choose to”. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I felt like I was stuck, against my will. Her comments sent my frustration level sky high.
Leah, you were right, in retrospect. I’ve been reading a book called “The Now Habit” which digs deep into the root causes of procrastination, and the author talks alot about the power of the messages we feed ourselves. I draw heavily on his ideas.
Here’s what happens with procrastination. We feed ourselves messages about managing our money (among other things) that either
1. stress us out (I Have to get this done…but I don’t want to), or …
2. depress us (I Should have … or I Should do….but I’m not)
Both result in procrastination. Let’s unpack this a little.
1. The I Have To message.
For example,
* I Have To pay my bills
* I Have To figure out how I’m going to have money to retire
* I Have To get my money organized
Right off the bat, we’re giving ourselves mixed messages: these are things we are forced to do, but if we had free choice, we would not do them. This inner tension is stressful!
Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t respond well to being forced to do anything. The result is that our mind goes into protective mode: fight or flight. In this case, we fight. We resist. We…procrastinate.
What would happen if we practiced a language change, to:
* I am going to pay this bill
* I am creating a plan for my retirement
* I choose to organize my money
This syntax puts us back in the driver’s seat. Our sense of agency, and sense of Self, is back in its appropriate place: in charge.
2. The I Should message.
For example,
1. I should have started saving for my retirement earlier
2. I should have more assets than I have
3. I should have better systems and structure for my finances
Right off the bat we’re giving ourselves a message of inadequacy. We compare ourselves unfavourably to an ideal state. We fall short.
Who wants to feel like we’re falling short? Our mind again jumps in to protect our sense of self, not by fight on the I should have message, but by flight. We avoid taking action on something in which are current state seems so woeful in contrast to the ideal state. And so we… procrastinate.
What would happen if we let go of both the past (our past perceived shortcomings) and the future (the ideal state) and instead used language like this:
* I can begin to prepare for my retirement by ….
* One way I could start to build my assets would be…
* One simple thing I can do to give me greater control over my finances is…
These statements contain no value judgements, but rather, open up space for new beginnings and movement.
Let’s allow ourselves to use this kind of language. Let’s catch ourselves right away when we use dis-empowering self-talk, and instead, adopt effective self-leadership language that moves us out of procrastination and into empowered action.
If you’re ready to take action, there are three opportunities for you below. If you know someone who may be ready to take action, please forward this to him or her (esp. single parents). And if you know Leah, please give her my warm regards and a belated ‘thanks’ for trying to point me in the right direction those 15 years ago.
-nancy
