Hello again, all. Happily, I did manage to complete the spreadsheet, although not at the time I’d set aside for it. Two weeks in a row the dedicated time I had chosen for money management was not workable so I’m adjusting and choosing a new day and time. It helped to hear that even my coach struggles with this process at times and she shared something very valuable with me: she sets aside 15 minutes per day and does as much as can be done in that time. She actually sets a timer and when it goes off, no matter what point she’s at, she stops and goes on with the rest of her day.

That has a potential pitfall for me from the standpoint that I really have a hard time leaving things half done…however, I can also see that in this way she’s creating a very regular habit and she lets herself off the hook at the end of that 15 mins. so it doesn’t become all-consuming. A second strategy she uses is to call a buddy at the appointed time and say, “Are you ready? Let’s go!”. Then they each do their 15 mins. of money management (spreadsheet entry, or whatever) and call back when they’ve finished. That’s a strategy I could see working very well because it involves accountability - supporting and being supported by someone else who’s going through the same process. I don’t know about you, but for me it really DOES seem to help to know I’m not alone!

Tonite before I wrote my blog, I sat down and sorted the receipts I’ve gathered just since doing my spreadsheet last week. It’s been only 4 days but already I have about a dozen receipts. It was much easier to sort out a dozen than a month’s worth! I’ve realized since last week that my resistance to tracking these expenses is that I simply do not want to acknowledge my spending habits right now. I’m feeling a familiar feeling of not earning enough money to live the way I really would like to live and while I am working on reaching bigger long-term goals related to my income, I’ve been in this place before and it’s just not comfortable. So I’ll be talking with my coach about how to manage this feeling of “being where I am” while working on where I intend to go in the long term.

I am continuing to be aware of treating myself gently, with kindness and respect. I’m learning to observe and witness my thoughts and actions as opposed to analyzing them critically. It makes a huge difference to how I feel about myself and my efforts. When I simply see without judgment, I can develop understanding. This allows me to self-manage productively, as opposed to suffering from “paralysis by analysis”. Let’s face it, beating myself up about not doing this process perfectly or not being where I think I “should” be, does not get me any closer to the goal - it only serves to reinforce negative feelings I’m already experiencing. When I am honest about what is true for me and then act accordingly, I am acknowledging my humanity. This allows me to see clearly how I am developing and maturing. For me, that is evidence of personal growth and what I gain from that is priceless.

-Kat