Last week while conducting my financial review, I did the math to calculate exactly how much debt I had incurred since the end of my relationship at the beginning of June/05. I wanted to get a handle on how that experience impacted my finances so I could examine my behaviour for patterns that need attention and correction.

I noticed what types of things I was inclined to spend money on to “help myself feel better” following the end of my relationship, and recognized that even in choosing to incur some debt, I subconsciously set limits for myself in terms of how much debt I would be willing to incur and what types of things I would be willing to incur debt for.

The debt mounted primarily because I wanted to be able to enjoy being single again. To be able to go out with friends to social events, pubs, dancing, enjoy weekends away and not have to sit down and think out every expense before I spent money.

Even though my debt reduction plan was created BY me FOR me, I was feeling resentful of my money management plan….I wondered if perhaps my diligence with paying off debt and adhering to my debt reduction plan created frustration for my former partner due to my lack of financial flexibility for unexpected or spontaneous expenditures. So after our relationship ended, I was “feeling boxed in” by my money and spent freely on my Visa. Prior to the break-up, I knew how much money I could afford to pay on my Visa in any particular month and would only spend up to that amount so I could pay the bill in full when it came in. Post-break-up I racked up debt by spending sporadically over the last few months, paying what I could from my paycheque and any remainder I flipped over to my lower interest Line of Credit.

Wow, did I get a reality check when I sat down last week to total exactly what I had added to Line of Credit in the past six months by way of paying off my Visa! The individual increments themselves weren’t too daunting on their own, but it made me feel woozy when I looked at the total.

That being said, I also remember thinking as I was doing the transfers onto the Line of Credit, “Ohhh, I don’t like that balance…it’s approaching X dollars and I’m feeling uncomfortable”. I subconsciously thought I cannot allow my Line of Credit to reach that limit or it won’t be long before I’m back where I started and will have undone months of hard work. While it was hard to accept responsibility for having allowed myself to incur more debt, I also am very aware of my growth: by not allowing my Credit Line to exceed a self-determined limit (nowhere near the actual credit limit), by not running up my Visa to its limit, and by continuing to paying it off in full every month - even if that meant paying it with my Credit Line.

I have returned to my debt reduction plan, financial monitoring and being very careful with my expenditures. It means I have to be more mindful of what I’m spending and when. I’m creating a support system for myself by hanging out with other people who are in similar position to me financially so we can agree on economical entertainment choices and encourage and support each other’s financial health. I eat at home before going out to the bar, I can walk to my local pub which allows me to have a beer or two at home before going out if I choose - little things which save significant money. That pub meal, a taxi and two extra beer almost double the cost of the evening out! Do that 2 or 3 times in a month and before I know it, all my money is gone. I know where debt reduction is concerned, it’s “short term pain for long term gain” and the discipline of the habit will pay back tenfold. Because when the debt is gone and I have all those hundreds of dollars back in my pocket every month, I can use that money to do those things unavailable to me with debt: buy RRSPs, and put away savings for vacations and “spontaneous purchases”. Then I will have the lifestyle I desire, with no nasty bills to have to pay at the end of the month!